Monday, May 4, 2009

DAD

So may of you that read my blog have been wondering about my dad and his condition. I am so grateful for all of the concerning thoughts, sentiments, and prayers that have been said in our behalf. I have written a lot of my own personal thoughts and feelings down in my personal journal. So many of my thoughts and feelings are so personal and private, but I realize that all of you want to know and are curious and so I just wanted to let you know and keep you in the "know". It is part of my life and so a perfect thing to record on my blog.
Things have progressively been getting worse. That really is the progress. It has been very difficult to watch him and my mom as he has struggled with pain and with the reality that is at hand. It has also been a very sacred time in their home and in our family. The time is drawing near and I just can not express my gratitude enough, nor put into words my feelings about the time that we have been able to spend with him.
He has been wanting to go to Yellowstone one last time and the thought or possibility of it all has been in question for a few weeks. Yesterday, the Doctor gave him the go ahead to go and told both my parents that at this point, we are looking at days left-not weeks and so if he wanted to go...NOW would be good. I feel selfish in the fact that I get to be the one to take them. We are heading out in a few minutes after Jeff gets home to gut the van so that we can get a mattress in the back so that he can lay down on the way there and the way back. I am anxious-but so excited and feel privileged to go with them. I am hoping that I can hold it together while we are there. It has gotten harder for me-I am realizing that I am still not ready to let him go. Everyday I pray for strength to just remember that it will be for only a short while until we will be together again. I am going to try to just enjoy and treasure these days that I get to spend with him in his favorite part of the country.
Thank you again for all of your concern and love that you have shown our family.

1 comment:

Kass said...

Oh Becca there just aren't words for times like this. My heart aches for you, but I also know how thin the veil must be right now for you and your family. Sacred moments for sure. I have a deep respect and love for your Dad after getting to know him in those very impressionable teenage years. Continued prayers for you and your family. Priceless pictures and memories of the trip to Yellowstone. Sure love ya!